There is a time in ones life when they realize the worst. The things they have learned and the battles they have overcome no longer matter. There are new battles in ones life. Some things a single being will never understand. It gets harder day by day to try and realize that the things you do and say matter not only to you but to others now. Why? Why because you’re growing and the things that you say spread the word good or bad. You have no control? well that must suck because you will be lost in a time and place where you might not be able to fix those mistakes. The life you live is harder that ever before and you need to stop, listen and learn no to ignore. People, Places and Times always running through your mind. There is no break, there is no rest, you will always feel second best. The one that claims they love you, how do you truly know if they do not speak? the do many things good and bad but what makes them special to you? Do they make you sad? Do they make you angry? do the make you feel like you are worthless and mean nothing what so ever and you just want to end it all? Are you two perfect simple persons? No, that is good because I know you’d be lying. My life is broken and no longer simple, I hurt, I bleed, and I have someone that claims to care. They do not think how their actions effect me. I cry, I sleep, I stress, and I rage. It does not change the way I think or feel but all I know is its all real.
We live in a place of dos and don’t s. How will we know when things are right? We don’t.
I try and tell the one I love he is mine and forever will be but it does not matter to him it seems. It hurts me so that he will not speak, about love, life, or even when hes mad at me. All I want is some sort of peace and for him to understand things hurt me. Understand I’m different and feel other things than you, some words hurt, some physical things too. Take the time to learn me and love me again. As if I were someone you never met. Fall in love all or again or wait is it love or was this all pretend. Be my lover, my life, my soul, the person I call mine but we both need to have Control.